I deleted all my old tweets and I'm weighing whether to just to delete the account outright or leave it in place. The main reasons for the later would be to avoid squatters in case I ever decide to write another programming book.
It's interesting to look back on this thread. I was five months into hormones and eight into transition. I sweated bullets on how, or even if, I should come out publicly (10,000ish followers). By February I was low-key addicted to coming out and just yolo shrugged. If it went poorly I'd just bail on the website.
It's also funny to see I'm still they-ing myself and "genderfluid" was forward in how I thought about myself (vs. now where it's she/her and genderfluid is something I'd only use to describe my history).
What a weird life.
Feb 26, 2023
... cracks mega-thread-knuckles, stretches block button finger muscles ...
Part of me wanted to let this account rot back into the digital earth as the building deteriorates around its new landlord. Another part of me thought it would pretty funny to silently make this change without announcement. 1/?
I never fully wanted the level of Twitter notoriety I got in my little niche programming community. I liked what it did for my career, but in general I was happiest when the world was ignoring me and I could just Do The Work™. Pay The Rent™.
Being a programming entrepreneur based on internet micro celebrity (or as we say now: an influencer) was never the goal. It was just, ironically, a by-product of my path to a job where I didn't need to be perceived by other people.
However, not saying anything seems like closet culture, and if there's anything I've learned over the past year it's that being done with closets and compartmentalization is the best thing I've ever done for my mental health and life.
So hi -- I'm a trans-lady. If you're playing along on your NPR scorecard -- a non-binary genderfluid trans-lady with they/she pronouns, but you can just call me Alana.
If you're wondering what this means for you and me? Not much, because we're only brushing up against each other via electricity and silicon. Our relationship is fleeting, but if we've talked before and you want to talk again say hi!
If you have an issue with this? The unfollow button is right over there, and maybe ask yourself or your god what your issue is with a stranger taking steps to fully engaged with life for the first time IN their life.
The culture writing of @nikostratis and @emilyvdw, @imogenbinnie's Nevada, and the brick throwers over at @gendereveal were a huge part of getting me to full-self-acceptance, but really it's every trans person who came out before me.
@nikostratis @emilyvdw @imogenbinnie @gendereveal Finally: If this makes you feel a certain sort of sad, or a certain sort of longing, then -- especially if you became an adult in the same Kinsey-6-or-GTFO proto-TERF queer culture of the 80s and 90s like I did -- find trans people.
@nikostratis @emilyvdw @imogenbinnie @gendereveal Find trans people and sit with them. Listen to them. Ask your questions without hiding or presenting that strong false front you're so good at. You're allowed in.
We're all allowed in. 🏳️⚧️